Dear parents and carers,

It is not often I write about myself, especially my life outside of school. It is even rarer that I would talk about something I have watched - but this is important.

Adolescence - Netflix’s New Four-Part Drama

I strongly advise, from one parent to another, all parents to watch this short series. However, I must stress, THIS IS NOT SUITABLE FOR PRIMARY AGED CHILDREN due to the level of violence and sexualised language used.

The series follows a loving, ‘normal’ family whose world is shattered when their 13-year-old son, Jamie, is suddenly arrested for murder in the early hours of the morning.

It explores how a boy from a supportive home can be drawn down a dark path. His unmonitored internet use exposes him to dangerous content, including the Incel movement and figures like Andrew Tate. His social struggles at school - where discipline is weak and lessons fail to engage - leave him feeling disconnected. At home, his parents, without realising it, reinforce rigid ideas of masculinity, making him feel like he has to prove himself in ways he doesn’t fully understand. Piece by piece, these influences shape his thoughts, behaviour, and ultimately, his actions.

One of the biggest conversations I have as a headteacher, both in and out of school, is about children and their phones, internet use and social media:

•They need a phone.
•It’s an invasion of their privacy if I check it.
•I have no control - I can’t just take it away - they'll just take it back.
•It just causes arguments if I try to look their devices; I just want a peaceful life.
•I’d rather not know what they’re looking at.
•If they’re not on social media, they won’t have friends.

Controversially, I’m not against secondary-age children having phones-they are a part of modern life, and both parents and schools have a role in teaching safe and responsible use. I am against social media use for under 16s. This series highlights the potential dangers of unmonitored internet access. Even if it’s not exposure to the Incel movement, it could be:

•Low self-esteem
•Violent and/or sexualised language and behaviour

•Depression and self-harm

These are all things I’ve encountered in primary teaching, let alone what happens at secondary.  

Please do watch this series, without your children present.  It is not an easy watch.  If it hasn't happened already, soon you will face the pressure to provide your child with a phone, iPad or other internet accessible gadget.  It doesn't stop there.  Next, they will want access to WhatsApp, Snapchat, Discord, Instagram.... the list goes on.

It is for parents, not the school, to decide when pupils should have a phone.  However, when you do decide to provide this, set the rules now.  You bought the phone, you pay the bill, you own it.  Insist you know the passcode, have it handed to you before they go to bed and keep control of what is installed at what is accessed. If they refuse, stop paying the bill and it will stop working.  From my own experience and from talking to other parents outside of my day job, those who start this at a younger age with their children find this easier to manage in the teenage years as routines are established.  Those who provide complete freedom to their children and wait until something goes wrong before taking action are the ones who end up in very challenging battles with their children and extremely heated arguments leading to parents having to use some of the above excuses.

This message is so important I am not going to include anything else within my section this week. So, from one parent to another, to urge to watch the series, consider how you monitor what they access along with the messages we are perhaps subconsciously inflicting on our children. As a parent, it has caused me to ask a lot of questions of myself.     

I pray you all have a wonderful weekend.

Mr. David Huntingford

Headteacher